But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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