My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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