did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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