It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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