I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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