Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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