If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i out mim tonsoeep
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