too bad you live with your parents still
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
