fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
