Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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