let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
