Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
