: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
