So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
