CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
