i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
