Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
