Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
