I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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