there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
