I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
wow bdsm is so cute
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
