i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
