I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
