You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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