She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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