You work out of a Hotel?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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