that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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