No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
