I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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