twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
