Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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