Already got asked if we're dating
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
