On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
