im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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