i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
