guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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