She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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