I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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