yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
