do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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