Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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