Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I didn't notice because vodka
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
