yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
