Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
