she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
