I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
