So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
