I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
