My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
