thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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