Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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